it has been an amazingly quiet, stable week... my nerves are a bit better rested and i have truly enjoyed taking lots of photos of our sweet little baby, and holding her kangaroo style. i have been itching to clock in some serious skin-to-skin contact time, as this is pretty much the single best thing you can do for a newborn, let alone a preemie. hold baby on your chest. there are all these amazing research/ stories about how mama's body regulates baby's temperature, heart rate and breathing. and of course, it fulfills some super-needed bonding experience between mama (or papa!) and baby. when i was still in the hospital, before i could get out of bed and see valentina, i remember staring at the ceiling of the hospital room, and just crying, crying crying. all i wanted. all i needed. was to feel my baby, sleeping on my chest. it was this intense, overwhelming feeling. all i could think about, was the ache i had, to feel my sleeping baby. right in that little nook from your chest to your neck... you know the spot...
i just got home from the hospital a little while ago... i had an amazing evening just holding her. i still ache for her, but its not as intensely painful, now it is just a constant love-ache, if that makes any sense. i promise vivi every single day that as soon as she is out of her incubator, she is going to spend ALL of her time in my arms, in my lap, sleeping naked on my chest. (in her diaper of course... ) we are progressing every day, and i try not to get discouraged...
health wise, valentina had a really good week. as of today, we are 1295 grams!! woohooo!!! 2 lbs 13 oz!!! we are huge!! the blood samples that were taken have finally! come back negative for infections, so after 21 days of antibiotics we are much better now... she is borderline anemic again, which means that today she is having one last round of iron supplements to see if she can bounce back on her own. we will know tomorrow if she needs another blood transfusion... hopefully not, but as i understand how the anemia, blood oxygen monitor, breathing rate etc., are all connected, i am less in a panic about the idea of transfusions. i spoke to the doctors the other day about seeing if i could be a blood donor for baby, as the thought of her having multiple transfusions (read: multiple donors) kinda started to freak me out. as it turns out, she has only one donor that they keep stocked for her. and i dont have the right blood type any way, she got that from her papa vic. but i was relieved to find out that 10 transfusions doesnt mean 10 donors. NOT that baby is going to need that many.... hopefully tomorrow we will luck out and not need transfusion number 3... anyhow, transfusion ultimately means better breathing, which means calmer baby, which means growing bigger, stronger, faster.
and then i can obsessively snuggle valentina at home f.o.r.e.v.e.r. until she starts to crawl and explore.
i am babbling, i apologize. i am exhausted. i am doubling my breast milk pumping sessions, as i realized that baby is taking more and more milk and my supply is no where near the amount of milk it should in theory be. so instead of wussing out, i am sticking to my schedule of pumping approximately 8 times a day. today, i pumped 7 times (i slept through my 4:30 AM alarm.. FML) i have a ton ton ton of photos to post... hopefully i will wake up for my 4 am pumping session and post some!! haha!!
and for now, here is a little teaser... <3
grow. baby. grow. <3